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Three men, one vat, zero survivors — the darkest 53-minute chocolate commercial ever made.
TMDB
64
IMDb
74

Secrets (1973)

Gallows humorBBC absurdismCulinary horror-comedy

Overview

ComedyTV Movie

Secrets Chocolates receive an unexpected sales boost when three maintenance workers fall into the chocolate vat and are fed through the production line.

Flag of GBGBFlag of USUS
Content warning
Corporate indifferenceClass exploitationThe banality of deathConsumerism as cannibalism

Standout Aspects

Writing

Whips between office banter and existential dread like it's nothing.

Acting

Mitchell's Rose treats mass death like a quarterly report — perfection.

Best for:Friends: For when your group thinks 'too soon' is a challenge, not a warning.·Solo: Late-night curiosity that'll make you side-eye your candy stash.
Heads up:Disturbing: Casual body disposal treated as logistics problem, not tragedy.
J

Director

James Cellan Jones

ReleasedAug 14, 1973
Runtime53m
StatusReleased

Vibe

Pacefast
Intensitymedium
Tonedark
Feellight
BBC

Top Cast

Warren Mitchell

Warren Mitchell

Rose

Julian Holloway

Julian Holloway

Robinson

David Collings

David Collings

Atkinson

Clifford Rose

Clifford Rose

Villon

George Innes

George Innes

Saville

Hugh Walters

Hugh Walters

Jackson

Brian Coburn

Brian Coburn

Foreman

Brian Wilde

Brian Wilde

Major Forster

Gretchen Franklin

Gretchen Franklin

Mrs. Pitt

George Tovey

George Tovey

Lorry Driver

Sarah Douglas

Sarah Douglas

Beautiful Girl

Ask about Secrets

Opens AI chat

Deep Dive

Trivia, insights & behind the scenes

Trivia

Made as a promotional film for Cadbury's, who presumably regretted asking for 'memorable.'

Cultural

The 1970s BBC specialized in this specific flavor: institutional cruelty wrapped in sitcom pacing.

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