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Vampire porn stars vs. a pizza boy and the Moral Majority. Camp chaos ensues.
TMDB
35

Pretty Dead Things (2006)

trashy brilliancemidnight movie madnessqueer-coded chaos

Overview

ComedyHorror

Adult film star Jennifer Bond has everything a girl could want: looks, power, a fabulously dangerously sexy boyfriend…and immortality due to the fact she was transformed into a vampire circa 1979. But as her 50th birthday draws near, she returns to the town she left in search of the love of her life, the aging porn director John Welles. Unfortunately, one of her travelling companions and former co-star takes a shine to one of their midnight snacks, a pizza delivery boy, and she creates a new vampire with a taste for bloody revenge! As the four ex-porn stars ravage the town as part of their nightly fun, the pizza boy hooks up with the beleaguered mayor and the Moral Majority to stomp out the dangerously porn star-vampire menace.

Flag of USUS
Content warning
aging and relevancesexual liberation vs. moral panicfound family of outcastsnostalgia as undeath

Standout Aspects

Costume

Deliberately tacky vampire lingerie that owns every frame

Writing

Dialogue that knows exactly how stupid it is

Direction

Griffin's committed grindhouse pastiche

Best for:Friends: Drunk watch with people who get the bit·Streaming: 2am 'what is this' discovery·Rewatch: Quote-along once you know the ridiculous beats
Heads up:Sexual Content: Softcore situations and porn industry setting throughout·Gore: Practical blood geysers played for laughs
R

Director

Richard Griffin

ReleasedOct 26, 2006
Runtime1h 30m
StatusReleased

Vibe

Pacefast
Intensitymedium
Tonelight
Feellight
Budget$22
Scorpio Film Releasing

Top Cast

Patrick Pitu

Patrick Pitu

Denver Longshanks / The Pizza Boy

William DeCoff

William DeCoff

John Welles

Danielle Lozeau

Danielle Lozeau

Jennifer Bond

Heather Cooney

Heather Cooney

Cheery Jogger

Caleb Emerson

Caleb Emerson

Big Jake

Ask about Pretty Dead Things

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Deep Dive

Trivia, insights & behind the scenes

Insight

Richard Griffin shot this in Rhode Island with a $30k budget, part of his prolific run of regional horror-comedies that embraced trash aesthetics as political commentary on conservative America.

Cultural

The 2006 release coincided with the final gasp of the 'Moral Majority' as a political force, making the mayor's alliance weirdly dated yet prescient about evangelical grift cycles.

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